My Challenge to Alt-Med

Alt-med practitioners and proponents luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuve to talk about how no one would ever get sick if they just did x, y, z to boost their immune system.  Here’s the thing guys. When push comes to shove, I don’t think that you really believe your own hype.  But I could be wrong.  Fortunately I’m going to give you a chance to put your money where your mouth is.  So, here’s your big chance to finally show all those naysayers and close-minded skeptics. 

All you have to do is accept (and complete) my challenge:

Step 1: Boost Your Immune System!!!!1!! (Naturally, of course)
Do whatever you have to do to “boost” your immune system.  Crack your back, align your chakras, breathe in a bunch essential oils, get needles stuck in you, eat only organic food, recharge your crystals, drink water (i.e., homeopathy), get a foot massage, buy a bunch of stuff on Mercola.com, Natural News, or Infowars, etc… Do all those things which “boost” your immune system that “they” don’t want us to know about.

Step 2:  Fly to West Africa and Find an Ebola Outbreak
Self-explanatory

Step 3:  Cure People with Your Modality of Choice.
Of course, since your immune system has been boosted, you don’t have to worry about catching Obama’s ebola. Here’s the fun part.  You also don’t need to wear any protection when you help ebola patients because, as you say, the only way to get sick is if your immune system isn’t “boosted.” And yours is fully boosted! Yay!

If by some improbable chance you do catch ebola, just treat yourself with whatever natural cure you advocate or you can just buy something that “they” don’t want us to know about from Mecola.com, Natual News, or Infowars.  Don’t use big pharma’s poisons!!!1!!11!!!

Normally, I would reject any medical evidence based on a single data point.  But if you can complete all three steps and come home alive, I will pay for your flight, recant everything bad I’ve ever said about your magic remedy, and I will become its biggest proponent.

I’m waiting…

2 thoughts on “My Challenge to Alt-Med

  1. This is the most amazing, rational response to the Alt-med types I have ever read. Would you mind terribly if I stole your argument? I will gladly credit you each time I do, but seriously- this is what I have been trying to say for *ages* and just was unable to formulate with my own words.

    Like

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